After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your personal wounds, it is necessary to maintain just a few issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Meaning doing every part in your energy to maintain your kids from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
Some of the necessary components is permitting your little one to expertise some separation from you, in response to psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid improvement referred to as separation-individuation throughout the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her ebook Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his have to really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally growing a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, enable your little one to develop their very own identification aside from you, and to really feel secure doing so.
On the similar time, it is necessary for fogeys to set limits–especially in the event that they’re apprehensive about elevating a future narcissist. Some mother and father wrestle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers on account of themselves being raised with narcissistic mother and father. However kids require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of relate to others in a method that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a baby ought to have.”